Burly Construction Hunks Bury Their Cables in My…Yard

So I was sleeping in this morning since I stayed up most of the night writing and I woke up to a loud banging on my door. I grabbed my robe and opened the door to quite a handsome, burly construction guy wearing worn jeans, work boots and a sleeveless shirt.


“Ma’am, I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?” He’s polite too. And concerned about me. An alpha male with a heart of gold. Who needs coffee?

” ‘s okay,” I mumble.

“I’m here to bury– ” (this is all my fuzzy brain processed for a moment) “your cable. I just wanted to let you know.”

So naturally, watching him and his team work, digging and bending over in their work jeans, I write a hot quickie ménage in my head. Unfortunately it’s mainly Penthouse Forum stuff. Not sure Ellora’s Cave would be interested. 🙂

But I did work up the courage to ask if I could take their picture! So here it is. The construction team in all their glory. *fans self*

Good morning to me…


Incredibly Unromantic Things This Erotic Romance Author Says to Her Husband

I hope to keep updating this post. And as ridiculous as it is, it’s my version of a love note to my husband, who not only is the perfect partner in crime for me, but is also the perfect partner for me. Thank god for his confidence and sense of humor.

This post should prove to you that’s there’s someone for everyone. Even me.





1/14/12:  It’s my hubby’s birthday and I take him out for dinner and drinks to celebrate. My husband is honestly a man of great integrity and a true romantic. I am NOT romantic. (Ironic, given that I write romance novels, no?) Plus I cannot resist a good naughty joke (just ask the HR department at work…).

So we’re sitting at the bar having drinks and I’m looking down at my wedding ring, which is on my right hand because I’ve lost a little weight and it’s gotten loose, and on cold nights it’s in danger of falling off. I had to put it on another finger so I wouldn’t lose it. So — joking — I hold my hands up and say, “Look, I’m not married!” And he very seriously asks, “You take your wedding ring off?”

“Well, only because otherwise it’s going to fall off and I’ll lose it.”

“I NEVER take my wedding ring off.” (very sincerely) “I can’t believe you take yours off.”

“Well I’m sorry, but I need to get it re-sized!” We silently drink beer for a minute. “You really never take yours off?”


“Not even to shower or swim?”


“Not even to put on lotion?”

“I don’t put on lotion.”

“Not even to work in the yard?”


“Really?” I did not know this.


….I pause to drink more beer and think about how it’s very sweet and romantic that it means something to my husband to never take his wedding ring off.

“So not even when you’re wedding-ring-deep in the cunt of a Las Vegas whore?”

Shaking his head. “Not even then. I’m a man of honor.”

“It’s true. No one would question that.”







1/15/12: I used this story in a blog interview with Emily Cale. I told her I had this conversation with a “friend” of mine because I was too embarrassed to admit I actually had it with my husband. 😀

We’re driving in the car and something happens that prompts me to say, “Wow, that takes me STRAIGHT back to high school.”

He says, “Oh yeah, some things take me right back too, like certain songs or like certain movies…”

Me: “Or like a mediocre cock attached to a redneck…”

Hubby, silently shaking his head.

Me: “Oh yeah…takes me right back…”






2/6/12: So hubs comes home from work and I hadn’t seen him when he left that morning. He looks fucking hot and I want to compliment my man — really illustrate for him how good he looks. So I tell him the best compliment that comes to mind, “Babe, you look so hot today that if I was a call girl and showed up at your hotel room, I’d be totally PSYCHED!!”

He kisses me and says, “Aw thanks! And it’s funny that you say that, because she totally was.”


To be continued… Or maybe I should say, “This shit will never end.” 😀

Fueling Her Fire Got Four Hearts from Sizzling Hot Book Reviews!

My first review y’all! FOUR HEARTS from Sizzling Hot Book Reviews: “Great! Move it up the TBR pile!”


Marissa Dobson, the founder of Sizzling Hot Book Reviews, had this to say about Fueling Her Fire:

  • “Sweet read of old loves and misunderstandings”
  • “The sex was hot and steamy between Kip and Dylan”!
  • “Great characters”
  • “Hot and sexy love story”!

Squee!!!  Now quit wasting time and check it out right at the source: CLICK HERE TO GO TO SIZZLING HOT BOOK REVIEWS

Then if it sounds good to you…maybe…BUY MY BOOK!  🙂  And if you write me a review on any book-selling site, I promise to call your name out during sex! No matter how awkward. (I might need to give my man a head’s up about that one…)

As always, your favorite dirty whore, (I’m hoping),

Piper Trace


How to Make Smut Stew and Other Deep Interview Answers



Emily Cale is a multi-published erotic romance author and a fellow Ellora’s Cave author! She has an impressive educational background in creative writing, so it’s no wonder she’s been able to find so much success in publishing.

She’s published with Ellora’s Cave, Decadent Publishing, Breathless Press, Passion In Print Press, Evernight Publishing and Wicked Ink Press, among others.

I was so thrilled when Emily interviewed me for her blog! We had a fun conversation about how I got my break, where I get my inspiration, and my somewhat inappropriate advice to my sixteen year old self. Check it out! While you’re there, be sure to look at her long list of great books–Emily has written something for everyone.

You can find her latest work, Honeymoon Suite, a romantic and hot novella about newlyweds getting wild after the ceremony, here at Ellora’s Cave: Honeymoon Suite


Now quit wasting time and find out why Emily and I are brought our lacy lingerie and bail money to the interview: Emily Cale Interview with Piper Trace



Boobs & Books! I’m Featured on the BiblioBabes Blog!

The BiblioBabes, Kat & Cara

(Say *that* 5 times fast!)

I still remember when I first came across their website…the more I read, the more my jaw dropped. We were (as they put it) separated at birth! I wanted to tweet to them immediately with something like, “Hey, you don’t know me, but we’re soul-mates and I’m your new best friend and we’re moving in together.” But knowing that was just a *wee* bit stalkerish, I cleared my throat and instead tweeted something like, “Lovely literature site, ladies. Carry on.” Well, that’s probably not accurate, but regardless, fast-forward to now and it’s a mutual love affair as I knew it would be. 😀

There is just nothing I love more than smart, unapologetic ladies who also happen to love literature. Throw in dark, sexy, funny and proud of their amazing breasts, and count me as a full-fledged fangirl.

Now if you’re not already hooked at this point in my description, let me introduce you to a little bit of heaven that the BiblioBabes like to call “Naked Reading Sunday”… Every Sunday they post a picture of one of them naked or semi-naked with only the book they’re reading covering their bare chest.

It’s one of the rare moments I hate books. 😉

And here, they blog about ME!! Imagine how thrilled I was! Our New Friend 



The email the creepy guy who writes to female erotic romance authors would write to Stephen King

Sometimes creepy guys come across female erotic romance writers and they think, “Oooh, I bet she’d love for me, a scary internet stranger, to say nasty things to her! I just have to send her an email/tweet/ransom-note-in-cut-out-letters and tell her what I think about her and the books she writes!”

Well, under that same logic, here’s the same creepy email from that same creepy guy if he decides to write to Stephen King instead. Keep in mind as you interpret, I write the hot/sexy, Stephen King writes the scary. 🙂

Dear Stephen King,

I saw your picture on your website. You are so scary. When I see your books and read your blog, I can’t believe how SCARED I get!

How do you come up with the ideas for what you put in your books? Have you done those things in real life? You must have one scary mind…

Like in that one book where the terrifying monster-clown ripped off the boy’s arm and he died–has that really happened to you?? I bet it has. I bet you like it SO SCARY.

I bet you write the things you do because you have a fantasy that you’ll get the same…that an evil, murderous clown will come out of the toilet and just scare the SHIT out of you!

You know my wife is scary too. When she reads your books, she gets so scared. I think you two should get together and you could scare my wife. Oooh, I’d love to watch that–you scaring her, her scaring you–and then maybe I’d join in and scare both of you good. Or maybe I’d just watch. God, that would be SO SCARY.

But why do you write the scary stuff? Are you just trying to sell books by scaring people? You’re really talented. Why don’t you write a REAL book in which people don’t get scared all the time?

I mean, you could have scary things happen in the book, but is it really necessary for people in your books to get scared so OFTEN, and in such GRAPHIC DETAIL? If you toned it down people might see that you’re actually a great writer and not just a writer who writes scary stuff.

I mean, not me, of course. I like writers who write the scary stuff.

Stephen, you know what your website needs? A picture of you getting scared. Or better yet, email it me at imadelusionalloser@hotmail.com.

Writing this email is getting me so scared. I have to go now so I can think about how scary you are and scream in fear while I scare myself. You know, I have a lot of fear. Like huge fear. You would be so scared if you saw the size of my fear. I should send you a picture of it. Maybe you could write a story about it.


Someone who’s never going to read your books but who stumbled across your website while searching for “hot young blondes freeboobing”

Ridiculous, no? 

Guys, don’t scare the ladies. It’s hard to write the smut when you’re creeped out. And nobody wins when the smut-writing slows down. Now, creepy guy, go buy my book, give it to your *ahem* lucky lady, and…

go scare yourself. 


Piper 🙂

**BREAKING NEWS** Fueling Her Fire now available on AllRomanceEbooks.com!

My 5-star rated Ellora’s Cave debut book is now available from All Romance! It’s listed with four flames…enough to heat you up on this cold day! Plus All Romance is running a FIFTY PERCENT rebate special off all Ellora’s Cave books, so it’s never been more affordable to curl up in bed with Dylan…he’s waiting for you there! HURRY!

You can read an excerpt and buy the book all All Romance here:  Fueling Her Fire

This is a hot, cozy, homey, snowed-in-with-a-hunk-in-a-cabin novella that’s perfect reading for this snowy weather. I hope you check it out!

Read more…Fueling Her Fire

Hoping To Enjoy a Menage in the New Year?

Come When Called…a fresh new menage for 2012

Isn’t this a great cover? But I have to be honest, I’m going to miss staring at the guy on the cover of Fueling Her Fire once it gets closer to the release date for Come When Called, but I think I could get used to these guys too…

I’m hard at work revising Come When Called to make it EVEN hotter, EVEN more emotionally charged, EVEN more erotic than it was when Ellora’s Cave accepted it for publication!

I’ve been reading a lot about what readers are looking for in their menage romance books and I’d love to hear from you! What do you love to see or want to see more of in a threesome / menage book? What do you HATE to see? Leave me a comment or ask me a question, and I promise to answer every one!

(General comments ONLY. NO plot / story ideas! This is a strict rule. Don’t make me spank you.)

The release date is not yet set, but will likely be sometime in the first half of 2012. I’ll keep you updated!

With a picture like that…what could be going on with these three??
Check out the book teaser here!

[Cover art by Dar Albert. Hot.]

**BREAKING NEWS** Fueling Her Fire Now Available at Barnes & Noble for Nook!

My 5-star rated Ellora’s Cave debut book is now available at Barnes & Noble! Curl up in bed with Dylan…clearly he’s waiting for you there!

You can request a free sample and buy the book here:  Fueling Her Fire

This is a hot, cozy, homey, snowed-in-with-a-hunk-in-a-cabin novella that’s perfect reading for your holiday break. I hope you check it out!

Read more…

Fueling Her Fire Now Available on Amazon for Kindle!

My 5-star rated Ellora’s Cave debut book is now available on Amazon! Give yourself a merry, merry Christmas with this hot and romantic story today! Curl up in bed with Dylan with a hot toddy…clearly he’s waiting there for you!

You can read an excerpt and buy the book here:  Fueling Her Fire

This is a hot, cozy, homey, snowed-in-on-Christmas-Eve-in-a-cabin novella that’s perfect reading for your holiday break. Please check it out!

Read more…